Turning Heartbreak into Healing: Aristotle's Wisdom in Couple Therapy

"Love is the measure of faith" - Pope Francis

When it comes to love and relationships, Aristotle's timeless wisdom is relevant today, particularly in the context of couples therapy. Aristotle thought that true love and friendship are founded on "reciprocated goodwill." But it's not enough to simply treat each other kindly; the source of that kindness is equally important. According to Aristotle, the deepest, most meaningful relationships are those in which both partners sincerely love each other for who they are, rather than what they can gain from the connection. His argument was that this type of affection can only exist between individuals who are similar in morality and genuinely want the best for one another.

These concepts are extremely important in marital therapy. A lot of couples seek therapy when they experience feelings of disconnection, hurt, or frustration. They may believe that the love they once had has vanished, or that their relationship has become more about convenience or habit than genuine connection. The wisdom of Aristotle may open couples to the fact that there is a strong correlation between the nature of love they share and the depth of that love.

We might say that the psychological distress that troubled couples experience is the result of investing energy into a relationship that may lack meaning and depth. These are the disappointments that result from relationships in which love is conditional, totally reliant on what each individual can provide rather than a deep, mutual respect for each other's genuine selves.

Helping couples transform these "worthless tragedies" into "worthwhile tragedies" is one way therapy can facilitate healing. In this case, a good tragedy is the emotional pain that comes from loving and committing to each other deeply, even though their lives continue to pose challenges. It's the pain of working through differences, growing together, and facing life's challenges together—knowing that the bond you share is real and lasting.

In therapy, couples might examine if their love is based on goodness and mutual kindness or on superficial elements. This exploration has the potential to be life-changing. When couples begin to focus on fully understanding and loving each other for who they are, shifting their attention from what they can get to what they can give, their relationship can transform from fragile to resilient.

Relationships aren't immune to heartbreak; problems in life are inevitable. Still, couples can make the most of the challenges they encounter as a unit by cultivating a love rooted in Aristotle's principles of honesty and true generosity. These "worthwhile tragedies" are the challenges that, in the end, enrich a relationship, enhancing the bond between partners and allowing them to grow both individually and together.

Couple therapy is more than just problem solving; it is also about guiding couples to build a relationship that is strong enough to withstand life's storms. Relationships can become more meaningful and resilient by learning and using Aristotle's advice. The inevitable heartaches and hardships of life can then be transformed into opportunities for growth, bringing depth to the love they share.

Couples who focus on developing a relationship based on mutual respect, virtue, and genuine kindness can transform life's unavoidable difficulties into times of profound connection and understanding. Finally, these worthwhile tragedies make love beautiful and enduring.

5 Simple Ways to be Friendly

By Harsh Dave with Lan Lan Yoga

Making friends can be hard sometimes. It’s hard to be yourself and have the courage to stay true to who you are while making friends with other people. Its hard for us, so it must be hard for our children. Here are a few tips to help your kids make friends!

• Don’t be afraid to talk!
  
  The hardest step can be simply talking and feeling free to express yourself. Its so easy to go through life with walls up, and hide what you are really feeling and thinking, but if you have the courage to speak up about what’s going on in your head, you might find that other people feel the same way!
  

• Try to keep other’s feelings in mind!
  
  Being sensitive to how other people feel is very important for making friends! People don’t like to feel like you’re not listening to them when they are speaking, or that your insensitive to what’s going on in their life. Thinking before you speak can help you avoid making other people feel bad when you don’t mean to hurt their feelings.
  

• Do your best to handle conflict!
  
  It’s hard when you get into fights with your friends. Try to remember that your friends like you for who you are, and even if you don’t get along sometimes, it doesn’t mean that they stopped liking you. Everyone is different, so when you get upset with your friends, remember that its okay to let go of your anger, because your friends are important, and you don’t have to agree on everything!
  

• Don’t be afraid to share your struggles!
  
  Everyone has bad days, but if you keep your bad day in your heart it will only stay with you. Don’t be afraid to share your problems with your friends! They are your friends because they care about you!
  

• Be a friend to yourself!
  
  Remember that you have to like yourself so you can show yourself honestly to other people! There are so many great things about all of us! Celebrate those great things so you can share them with your friends!