34 Self-Care Tips to do Before Bedtime

Maintaining a steady routine of self-care is important for your mental and physical health, especially during these tough times. It all starts with getting plenty of sleep. If we don’t get our recommended 7-9 hours of rest each night, it might lead to problems such as increased stress, impaired cognitive thinking, poor attitudes, and the inability to focus. 

Creating a bedtime routine and sticking to it can go a long way in helping you get a good night’s sleep, namely because it will signal your body that it’s time to rest. Having a comfortable sleep environment and taking time to relax as you get ready for bed can set the stage for restorative sleep, and can result in you feeling alert, well-rested, and ready to take on the upcoming day. 

Of course, no one bedtime routine is the same as people have different needs and preferences. While some self-care tips apply to folks of any age, such as creating a comfortable sleep environment, each age group also has tips that address their specific sleep needs. 

• Children: Children need the most amount of sleep, between 9 and 16 hours depending on age. 

• Teenagers: Without adequate sleep, teens are at increased risk of mental health problems. 

• College students: As they transition from kids to adults, college students need a good night’s rest to maintain strong mental health. 

• Adults: Getting a good night’s sleep helps promote long-lasting good physical and mental health. 

• Parents: Self-care that includes relaxation tips and stress relievers goes a long way in helping parents get restorative sleep. 

34 Self Care Tips 

This guide will review important information for each of these age groups, and provide tips on how they can achieve healthy and restorative sleep.

Children 

• Talk about their emotions. To help promote healthy sleep, it’s important for children to express their thoughts and emotions. The Washburn Center for Children in Minneapolis recommends talking with your children about their feelings on a daily basis so they see it as a normal part of their day. Ask things like, “what has been a highlight of your day and why?” or “you seem down today, what has you feeling sad?” Really listen to what they have to say, and respond thoughtfully in a way that encourages them to keep talking. 

• Try children meditation apps. Apps can be a handy tool to help calm children as they prepare for bed. For instance, “Stop, Breathe & Think” offers mindful sleep stories and meditation activities to help ease the mind. “Smiling Mind” features meditation techniques to help children sleep better, while “Sleep Meditation for Kids” provides mediation stories to help children relax. 

• Go outside. It’s no secret kids have a lot of energy, so it’s important to allow them time to expend that energy before bedtime. Let them go outside and play in the afternoon, but limit exercise within four hours of bedtime, per Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. Otherwise, they could become over-stimulated when their bodies should be winding down. 

• Limit screen time. While electronic devices have become a normal part of most kids’ lives, they should not be a part of any child’s bedtime routine. In fact, according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, screens in the bedroom are accompanied by insufficient sleep that affects 30% of toddlers, preschoolers and school-age children. Therefore, eliminating screen time at least one hour before bedtime can help set the tone for a more restful night’s sleep. 

• Set expectations. Another way to help prepare kids for a good night’s sleep is by setting expectations for bedtime. Remind them of the evening schedule, such as finishing homework after dinner followed by a bath and story time before bed. 

• Prepare for tomorrow. Encourage children to prepare for the next day by picking out their clothes for school and packing their lunch. This will help them take ownership in their daily routine. 

Teenagers

• Encourage a routine. Like younger kids, teens need a routine to help them feel settled. For instance, they have to finish their homework before playing video games, or no more electronics past a certain time. 

• Limit caffeine. Many teenagers start drinking more caffeinated beverages, such as coffee and energy drinks, which can be overstimulating for them. As such, their daily caffeine intake should be limited to one cup of coffee, one or two cups of tea, and no more than three cans of soda, per the American Academy of Pediatrics. They should not have any caffeine within an hour of bedtime. 

• Relax somewhere other than your bed. While it’s tempting to text your friends or watch TV as you lounge in your bed, this should be avoided. You want your body to recognize when it’s time to sleep, and climbing into bed should be a signal that sleep is on the way. Therefore, keep your bed as a “sleep only” spot. 

• Take a hot shower or bath. Many teens jump in the shower first thing in the morning, but research from the Cockrell School of Engineering at The University of Texas at Austin found that taking a warm bath or shower one to two hours before bedtime can significantly improve sleep. Water should be between 104 and 109 degrees Fahrenheit for the best results.

• Get regular exercise. Just as kids need exercise to expend energy and maintain good health, so do teenagers. Getting in the habit of exercising at a younger age can help ensure teens maintain this healthy routine, which will lead to better sleep. 

• Talk to them. The teen years can be extremely stressful as kids transition through young adulthood, experiencing a new range of emotions and situations. Encourage them to voice their feelings and their stressors so they won’t stay up all night thinking about them. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry recommends teaching them assertiveness training skills so they can state their feelings in polite, firm and not overly aggressive or passive ways.  

College students

• Maintain open communication. College can be a huge transitional period for young adults, so it’s important to keep the lines of communication open. Build on the talks you have had with your parents through the years, and tell them how you are feeling. Remember that discussing your feelings go a long way in helping you sleep well. 

• Create a care package for sleep. Put together a sleep kit with your favorite sleep mask, earplugs, aromatherapy scents, white noise machine or soothing music. Dig into this kit anytime you need to reset your body for a good night’s sleep. 

• Use “do not disturb” mode. Young people today are more plugged in than ever, and it’s important to unplug at least an hour before bedtime each night. Turn your phone on “do not disturb” so you can tune out your friends’ text messages or late-night notifications from your apps. 

• Set up a spa night. Stress plays a key role in disturbing your sleep, so it’s important to de-stress often. Take time to unwind with your friends by indulging in a little pampering, like applying face masks or giving one another pedicures. These are a great way to wind down and reset your body’s stress levels. 

• Plan your day. Planning out your next day’s schedule during times of busyness or stress can help you feel in control of what you need to do. Amherst College suggests planning out your day by writing down what you have to do with deadlines so you have a handle on what needs to be accomplished when. 

• Try journaling. Writing down your feelings goes a long way in helping you process and sort through what you are experiencing. For instance, writing out a frustrating situation or something you’re stressed about and then destroying that piece of paper can help you let go of the negativity you feel about it. 

Adults

• Set aside time for a bedtime routine. It’s easy to feel too busy for a bedtime routine, and, instead, just fall into bed when you’re exhausted. However, bedtime routines are essential for good sleep, so, if necessary, build it into your schedule. Don’t be afraid to set a reminder of when to start your bedtime routine, so your body will know it’s time to start winding down. 

• Substitute your nighttime wine for tea. Although wine could help you feel sleepy, it may actually disrupt a good night’s sleep. Trade it out for a caffeine-free tea that promotes sleep. A few good choices include: 

• Chamomile

• Lavender

• Lemon balm

• Yogi Bedtime Tea 

• Practice good skin care. While removing your makeup and applying moisturizer is a great way to maintain healthy skin, it also can help your body relax as part of your bedtime routine. It’s one more signal to your body that rest is on the way. 

• Meditate. Meditating before bedtime helps you achieve a sense of inner calm that can lead to more restful sleep. It also can help reduce cortisol, the hormone associated with stress. To help you implement meditation in your bedtime routine, you can try a meditation app such as:

• Calm

• Buddhify

• 10% Happier 

• Simple Habit 

• Read a book. It’s often said you can get lost in a good book. By doing so, you escape the stress of everyday life. In fact, according to the University of Minnesota, reading can relax your body by lowering your heart rate and easing the tension in your muscles. Per a 2009 University of Sussex study, reading also can reduce stress by up to 68% and works faster than drinking hot tea or listening to music. 

• Set goals. Listing your goals for the next day, whether personal or work, sets the stage for a productive day. Write out at least three goals, but make sure they are realistic so you aren’t stressed about getting them done. 

• Get out of the house. When you’ve been home for long periods of time, the stress can accumulate and start to feel overwhelming. Therefore, it’s important to get out of the house and enjoy a change of scenery before you start your bedtime routine. Take a walk around the block, spend a few minutes in the backyard swing or play with the dog. 

Parents 

Raising kids can take a toll on parents if they don’t make time for themselves. Include one or more of these self-care tips in your bedtime routine to promote better sleep. 

• Try aromatherapy. The essential oils used in aromatherapy have been shown to help reduce anxiety and promote calm. Using sleep masks and pillows infused with scents such as lavender, chamomile or jasmine can help you relax, per the Mayo Clinic. 

• Write down wins and struggles. Expressing your achievements and difficulties in writing helps you sort through and process your thoughts and emotions, which can reduce stress. 

• Shower in low lighting. Taking a warm shower before bed can promote relaxation throughout your body. Turning the lights down can further aid this relaxation. 

• Indulge in adult coloring books or puzzles. According to the Cleveland Clinic, spending time coloring relaxes the brain, diverts attention from your worries and increases pleasure, all of which reduce stress. Focusing on an adult puzzle can also help clear the mind. 

• Get intimate (singles and couples). A healthy sex life promotes good health from lower blood pressure to decreased anxiety to, yes, better sleep. Even individuals can benefit from self-intimacy. 

• Enjoy a massage (self massage or couples). Massages have been shown to reduce fatigue and improve sleep because it relaxes the muscles and calms the brain. It also improves blood flow, reduces stress and boosts serotonin, which promotes sleep. 

• Listen to audio therapy. Although loud noises like listening to the TV are not conducive to a good night’s sleep, listening to soothing music or a white noise machine can relax your mind and promote sleepiness. Incorporate this technique into your bedtime routine by turning on the music or white noise 30 to 45 minutes before you want to fall asleep. 

• Look at old photo albums of good memories. To reduce anxiety and refocus your mind, take a stroll down memory lane by looking at photos of favorite vacations, special occasions and fun moments throughout the years. The emotions of these memories will boost your body’s dopamine production, which makes you feel good and more relaxed. 

• Journal with your spouse. Just as writing down your own thoughts and feelings can help you process your emotions, journaling with your spouse can help you work through problems together, reaffirm your love for one another, and lead to deeper intimacy. These processes can reduce stress and improve your sleep. 

• Incorporating self-care into your bedtime routine will go a long way in improving your sleep as well as your overall health. In our busy world, that can be difficult, so it’s imperative that you make time for a consistent bedtime routine every day. 

The original post of this article can be found at Slumber Yard

5 Simple Ways to be Friendly

By Harsh Dave with Lan Lan Yoga

Making friends can be hard sometimes. It’s hard to be yourself and have the courage to stay true to who you are while making friends with other people. Its hard for us, so it must be hard for our children. Here are a few tips to help your kids make friends!

• Don’t be afraid to talk!
  
  The hardest step can be simply talking and feeling free to express yourself. Its so easy to go through life with walls up, and hide what you are really feeling and thinking, but if you have the courage to speak up about what’s going on in your head, you might find that other people feel the same way!
  

• Try to keep other’s feelings in mind!
  
  Being sensitive to how other people feel is very important for making friends! People don’t like to feel like you’re not listening to them when they are speaking, or that your insensitive to what’s going on in their life. Thinking before you speak can help you avoid making other people feel bad when you don’t mean to hurt their feelings.
  

• Do your best to handle conflict!
  
  It’s hard when you get into fights with your friends. Try to remember that your friends like you for who you are, and even if you don’t get along sometimes, it doesn’t mean that they stopped liking you. Everyone is different, so when you get upset with your friends, remember that its okay to let go of your anger, because your friends are important, and you don’t have to agree on everything!
  

• Don’t be afraid to share your struggles!
  
  Everyone has bad days, but if you keep your bad day in your heart it will only stay with you. Don’t be afraid to share your problems with your friends! They are your friends because they care about you!
  

• Be a friend to yourself!
  
  Remember that you have to like yourself so you can show yourself honestly to other people! There are so many great things about all of us! Celebrate those great things so you can share them with your friends!

Is Persistence the Key to Success?

 “Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground” -Theodore Roosevelt

After my usual four mile run at Central Park, I am sweaty and impatient waiting for the elevator. The elevator opens, I walk in and join an elderly gentleman who looks like he has parkinson’s and his nurse. I do what I usually do in elevators, scramble to find my keys to pass the awkward silence. A kind voice encourages me from the corner of the elevator “Keep being persistent, it’s in there somewhere” I look up to meet a amused twinkle in the man’s eyes. I was struck by the tone in the voice that seem to resonate with my emotional state at the moment. I quipped, “persistence is about the only thing that works” He laughed and replied “touche” I watched him shake and shuffle slowly out of the elevator with his nurse holding his arm. I thought to myself, now that’s a man who knows something about persistence.

This encounter left me reflecting on the elements that helped me get through difficult times. As I think back on my success and failures, it’s persistence that led to both my success and demise. With my strong willed personality, I have two types of persistence in my toolbox: 1. The persistence to work hard on things I know I’m good at    2. The persistence to work hard in order to prove someone wrong. I have found that both approaches have led me to momentary success but ultimately left me in state of utter disillusionment.

So is persistence really the thing that helps me get what I need?

My success has been highlighted by my ability to keep doing whatever it takes. This drive came from growing up watching my immigrant parents struggle miserably at life, both personally and professionally. Day after day, year after year, I would watch my parents engaging in the same self- limiting process, even thought they were miserable— their rationale was: “at least we can count on the same miserable life to wake up to every day” They gave up on the dream of doing better for themselves and focused on the hope that their kids will eventually succeed and compensate for their losses.

It wasn’t my persistence that gave me success in life. It was my parents loss of hope that drove me to achieve. Their helplessness and trauma left me with no option other than to develop a burning need to survive on my own. My favorite proverb “Necessity is the mother of invention” describes the need that gave birth to persistence. Today, this very resourceful part of me is looking for a new role. Now that my parents are settled in a comfortable retirement phase of their life, I am confronted with the ultimate question:

What's next?

Longing to Belong

I walked on to the 2 train this morning and found a man surrounded by mountains of baggage on two carts. My immediate thought was..I am transported back to tribal times..

This man is carrying what looks like  trash. Upon close inspection I notice the care in which he stacked his dirty boxes blankets and bags...carefully secured with locks. What I thought initially were piles of trash I realized was something precious to him: security, safety & belonging.

My idea of nothing means everything to him because it's all he has in this world...

..train conductors voice startled me out of my reverie

"Make sure you have all your belongings with you. Get to your destination safely"

On my way out, I glanced over at the man's pile and notice a newspaper hanging out of the bundle. It was a picture of Martin Luther King ...the caption read: "The mission lives on…"

Questions that comes to mind in my encounters: What do things mean to people? 

The image of MLK -is imbued with indignant rage. This man never leaves the train - he repeats the same routes day in and day out. Engaged in a repetition to resolve an old script in his head. The voices that speak to him replays an old tune.

The path from trauma to recovery - 24 hours after the 11/13 Paris attacks

I'm sitting at a cafe in Paris, watching the sunset, two days after one of the worst terrorist attacks the city has experienced in history.

I'm reading a book called "the trauma of everyday life" by Mark Epstein. In the book, a poem by Buddha catches my mood of the moment:

“Flapping like a fish thrown on dry ground, it trembles all day, struggling.
Like an archer an arrow,
the wise man steadies his trembling mind,
a fickle and restless weapon
The mind is restless.
To control it is good.
A disciplined mind is the road to Nirvana”

— Buddha

I quietly observed the people on the street- who seemed preoccupied by the chatter in their own minds and the chatter outside. I could tell by the jerky body movements and the glazed looks in their eyes. The line from buddha's poem "flapping like a fish thrown on dry ground, it trembles all day, struggling" was the apropos description of what I observed around me. Parisians were thawing from the shock of the terrorist attacks, like fish out of water, trembling helplessly on dry ground.

Out of the corner of my eye, something out of the ordinary caught my attention. I noticed an older French gentleman, who was waiting to cross the street. Unlike the rest of the crowd, he was very still and patient. He seemed tranquil, unlike the crowd around him, who looked hurried & distracted.

I watched him serenely observing his surroundings, walking with a pace that showed ease in the space he inhabited. Then, I noticed he was holding a leash, and saw that he was walking an old dog. A moment of understanding rushed into my awareness. I imagined this dog as a representation of the man's mind. I sensed a deep connection of warmth with the owner. Furthermore, I had a sense that in its canine heart, the dog had accepted the limitations of its physical body and felt secure in the trusted hand of its master.

“Like an archer an arrow,
the wise man steadies his trembling mind,
a fickle and restless weapon”

It dawned on me, in that moment, that trauma creates a sense of uncertainty which triggers the body to distrust the mind --it's master. After the wake of the terrorist attacks, the Parisian's sense of well being and security were shaken to their core. The attacks challenged their presumptions about their world. It brought to light their limitations and awakened a sense of helplessness.

“The mind is restless.
To control it is good.
A disciplined mind is the road to Nirvana.”

The old man and his dog. They were companions in their brave acceptance of the new reality and its limitations. I imagined that in their wisdom, unlike the flapping fish out of water, they chose to stay calm, breathe and walk on steady ground. To trust their mind-bodies to venture together in their new reality, connected by each other, on their path toward an uncertain future.