The Group Podcast Ep. 28 "Women, Intersectionality, and Power In Group Leadership"

Podcast Preview: In this episode, Angelo talks with Yoon Kane and Annie Weiss who, along with Saralyn Masselink, edited and contributed chapters to “Women, Intersectionality, and Power in Group Psychotherapy Leadership” (2022, Routledge).

 Their conversation explores how this project sought to address the conspicuous void in professional literature on the complex challenges women group leaders face and how such dilemmas can be understood & skillfully addressed. Intersectionality is also discussed as an organizing principle in the book’s illuminating investigation. Finally, both Yoon’s chapter “Courage to Lead: The Shadow of Racism on Women of Color Leading Psychotherapy Groups” and Annie’s chapter “Training Elastigirl: Developing Strength and Flexibility in Female Group Psychotherapists” are talked about in depth. Check out this incredibly thought-provoking conversation today!
 

Contributors to
“Women, Intersectionality, and Power in Group Psychotherapy Leadership”
Alexandra (Sasha) Watkins
Alexis D. Abernethy
Ali Kimmell
Annie C. Weiss
Britt Raphling
Elizabeth (Libby) Shapiro and Rachel Ginzberg
Ellen L. Wright
Janice M. Morris
Jeanne Bunker
Julie Anderson
Kavita Avula
Madeline Victore Stein
Nina W. Brown
Saralyn M. Masselink
Shemika M. Brooks
Susan P. Gantt
Yesel Yoon
Yoon Im Kane

34 Self-Care Tips to do Before Bedtime

Maintaining a steady routine of self-care is important for your mental and physical health, especially during these tough times. It all starts with getting plenty of sleep. If we don’t get our recommended 7-9 hours of rest each night, it might lead to problems such as increased stress, impaired cognitive thinking, poor attitudes, and the inability to focus. 

Creating a bedtime routine and sticking to it can go a long way in helping you get a good night’s sleep, namely because it will signal your body that it’s time to rest. Having a comfortable sleep environment and taking time to relax as you get ready for bed can set the stage for restorative sleep, and can result in you feeling alert, well-rested, and ready to take on the upcoming day. 

Of course, no one bedtime routine is the same as people have different needs and preferences. While some self-care tips apply to folks of any age, such as creating a comfortable sleep environment, each age group also has tips that address their specific sleep needs. 

• Children: Children need the most amount of sleep, between 9 and 16 hours depending on age. 

• Teenagers: Without adequate sleep, teens are at increased risk of mental health problems. 

• College students: As they transition from kids to adults, college students need a good night’s rest to maintain strong mental health. 

• Adults: Getting a good night’s sleep helps promote long-lasting good physical and mental health. 

• Parents: Self-care that includes relaxation tips and stress relievers goes a long way in helping parents get restorative sleep. 

34 Self Care Tips 

This guide will review important information for each of these age groups, and provide tips on how they can achieve healthy and restorative sleep.

Children 

• Talk about their emotions. To help promote healthy sleep, it’s important for children to express their thoughts and emotions. The Washburn Center for Children in Minneapolis recommends talking with your children about their feelings on a daily basis so they see it as a normal part of their day. Ask things like, “what has been a highlight of your day and why?” or “you seem down today, what has you feeling sad?” Really listen to what they have to say, and respond thoughtfully in a way that encourages them to keep talking. 

• Try children meditation apps. Apps can be a handy tool to help calm children as they prepare for bed. For instance, “Stop, Breathe & Think” offers mindful sleep stories and meditation activities to help ease the mind. “Smiling Mind” features meditation techniques to help children sleep better, while “Sleep Meditation for Kids” provides mediation stories to help children relax. 

• Go outside. It’s no secret kids have a lot of energy, so it’s important to allow them time to expend that energy before bedtime. Let them go outside and play in the afternoon, but limit exercise within four hours of bedtime, per Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. Otherwise, they could become over-stimulated when their bodies should be winding down. 

• Limit screen time. While electronic devices have become a normal part of most kids’ lives, they should not be a part of any child’s bedtime routine. In fact, according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, screens in the bedroom are accompanied by insufficient sleep that affects 30% of toddlers, preschoolers and school-age children. Therefore, eliminating screen time at least one hour before bedtime can help set the tone for a more restful night’s sleep. 

• Set expectations. Another way to help prepare kids for a good night’s sleep is by setting expectations for bedtime. Remind them of the evening schedule, such as finishing homework after dinner followed by a bath and story time before bed. 

• Prepare for tomorrow. Encourage children to prepare for the next day by picking out their clothes for school and packing their lunch. This will help them take ownership in their daily routine. 

Teenagers

• Encourage a routine. Like younger kids, teens need a routine to help them feel settled. For instance, they have to finish their homework before playing video games, or no more electronics past a certain time. 

• Limit caffeine. Many teenagers start drinking more caffeinated beverages, such as coffee and energy drinks, which can be overstimulating for them. As such, their daily caffeine intake should be limited to one cup of coffee, one or two cups of tea, and no more than three cans of soda, per the American Academy of Pediatrics. They should not have any caffeine within an hour of bedtime. 

• Relax somewhere other than your bed. While it’s tempting to text your friends or watch TV as you lounge in your bed, this should be avoided. You want your body to recognize when it’s time to sleep, and climbing into bed should be a signal that sleep is on the way. Therefore, keep your bed as a “sleep only” spot. 

• Take a hot shower or bath. Many teens jump in the shower first thing in the morning, but research from the Cockrell School of Engineering at The University of Texas at Austin found that taking a warm bath or shower one to two hours before bedtime can significantly improve sleep. Water should be between 104 and 109 degrees Fahrenheit for the best results.

• Get regular exercise. Just as kids need exercise to expend energy and maintain good health, so do teenagers. Getting in the habit of exercising at a younger age can help ensure teens maintain this healthy routine, which will lead to better sleep. 

• Talk to them. The teen years can be extremely stressful as kids transition through young adulthood, experiencing a new range of emotions and situations. Encourage them to voice their feelings and their stressors so they won’t stay up all night thinking about them. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry recommends teaching them assertiveness training skills so they can state their feelings in polite, firm and not overly aggressive or passive ways.  

College students

• Maintain open communication. College can be a huge transitional period for young adults, so it’s important to keep the lines of communication open. Build on the talks you have had with your parents through the years, and tell them how you are feeling. Remember that discussing your feelings go a long way in helping you sleep well. 

• Create a care package for sleep. Put together a sleep kit with your favorite sleep mask, earplugs, aromatherapy scents, white noise machine or soothing music. Dig into this kit anytime you need to reset your body for a good night’s sleep. 

• Use “do not disturb” mode. Young people today are more plugged in than ever, and it’s important to unplug at least an hour before bedtime each night. Turn your phone on “do not disturb” so you can tune out your friends’ text messages or late-night notifications from your apps. 

• Set up a spa night. Stress plays a key role in disturbing your sleep, so it’s important to de-stress often. Take time to unwind with your friends by indulging in a little pampering, like applying face masks or giving one another pedicures. These are a great way to wind down and reset your body’s stress levels. 

• Plan your day. Planning out your next day’s schedule during times of busyness or stress can help you feel in control of what you need to do. Amherst College suggests planning out your day by writing down what you have to do with deadlines so you have a handle on what needs to be accomplished when. 

• Try journaling. Writing down your feelings goes a long way in helping you process and sort through what you are experiencing. For instance, writing out a frustrating situation or something you’re stressed about and then destroying that piece of paper can help you let go of the negativity you feel about it. 

Adults

• Set aside time for a bedtime routine. It’s easy to feel too busy for a bedtime routine, and, instead, just fall into bed when you’re exhausted. However, bedtime routines are essential for good sleep, so, if necessary, build it into your schedule. Don’t be afraid to set a reminder of when to start your bedtime routine, so your body will know it’s time to start winding down. 

• Substitute your nighttime wine for tea. Although wine could help you feel sleepy, it may actually disrupt a good night’s sleep. Trade it out for a caffeine-free tea that promotes sleep. A few good choices include: 

• Chamomile

• Lavender

• Lemon balm

• Yogi Bedtime Tea 

• Practice good skin care. While removing your makeup and applying moisturizer is a great way to maintain healthy skin, it also can help your body relax as part of your bedtime routine. It’s one more signal to your body that rest is on the way. 

• Meditate. Meditating before bedtime helps you achieve a sense of inner calm that can lead to more restful sleep. It also can help reduce cortisol, the hormone associated with stress. To help you implement meditation in your bedtime routine, you can try a meditation app such as:

• Calm

• Buddhify

• 10% Happier 

• Simple Habit 

• Read a book. It’s often said you can get lost in a good book. By doing so, you escape the stress of everyday life. In fact, according to the University of Minnesota, reading can relax your body by lowering your heart rate and easing the tension in your muscles. Per a 2009 University of Sussex study, reading also can reduce stress by up to 68% and works faster than drinking hot tea or listening to music. 

• Set goals. Listing your goals for the next day, whether personal or work, sets the stage for a productive day. Write out at least three goals, but make sure they are realistic so you aren’t stressed about getting them done. 

• Get out of the house. When you’ve been home for long periods of time, the stress can accumulate and start to feel overwhelming. Therefore, it’s important to get out of the house and enjoy a change of scenery before you start your bedtime routine. Take a walk around the block, spend a few minutes in the backyard swing or play with the dog. 

Parents 

Raising kids can take a toll on parents if they don’t make time for themselves. Include one or more of these self-care tips in your bedtime routine to promote better sleep. 

• Try aromatherapy. The essential oils used in aromatherapy have been shown to help reduce anxiety and promote calm. Using sleep masks and pillows infused with scents such as lavender, chamomile or jasmine can help you relax, per the Mayo Clinic. 

• Write down wins and struggles. Expressing your achievements and difficulties in writing helps you sort through and process your thoughts and emotions, which can reduce stress. 

• Shower in low lighting. Taking a warm shower before bed can promote relaxation throughout your body. Turning the lights down can further aid this relaxation. 

• Indulge in adult coloring books or puzzles. According to the Cleveland Clinic, spending time coloring relaxes the brain, diverts attention from your worries and increases pleasure, all of which reduce stress. Focusing on an adult puzzle can also help clear the mind. 

• Get intimate (singles and couples). A healthy sex life promotes good health from lower blood pressure to decreased anxiety to, yes, better sleep. Even individuals can benefit from self-intimacy. 

• Enjoy a massage (self massage or couples). Massages have been shown to reduce fatigue and improve sleep because it relaxes the muscles and calms the brain. It also improves blood flow, reduces stress and boosts serotonin, which promotes sleep. 

• Listen to audio therapy. Although loud noises like listening to the TV are not conducive to a good night’s sleep, listening to soothing music or a white noise machine can relax your mind and promote sleepiness. Incorporate this technique into your bedtime routine by turning on the music or white noise 30 to 45 minutes before you want to fall asleep. 

• Look at old photo albums of good memories. To reduce anxiety and refocus your mind, take a stroll down memory lane by looking at photos of favorite vacations, special occasions and fun moments throughout the years. The emotions of these memories will boost your body’s dopamine production, which makes you feel good and more relaxed. 

• Journal with your spouse. Just as writing down your own thoughts and feelings can help you process your emotions, journaling with your spouse can help you work through problems together, reaffirm your love for one another, and lead to deeper intimacy. These processes can reduce stress and improve your sleep. 

• Incorporating self-care into your bedtime routine will go a long way in improving your sleep as well as your overall health. In our busy world, that can be difficult, so it’s imperative that you make time for a consistent bedtime routine every day. 

The original post of this article can be found at Slumber Yard

Guiding Your Child Through the Coronavirus

Children always see, hear, and pick up on more than parents think. It’s likely that they have noticed people out in public with protective masks, heard pieces of adult conversations, or have talked about it with friends. 

Children are not immune to feelings of fear, worry, or anxiety. Here are 6 ways to guide your child through the outbreak: 

1. Take care of yourself 

In order to help your child regulate their emotions and anxieties, as parents, you have to manage your own first. Your child is likely very aware of your emotional state and will be able to pick up on your feelings of fear and worry. 

Before talking to them, take some time to notice your own feelings and do what you need to do to take care of yourself.  You can check out my last blog post [link to above article] to learn more about how to manage feelings of anxiety.

2. Provide age-appropriate information

There is a wealth of misinformation on the coronavirus. It’s important to be a reliable source for your child(ren), while also filtering out unnecessary details and delivering only what’s pertinent for their age. 

Generally speaking, it’s helpful to frame the coronavirus within a context that is already known to them, such as having a cold or the flu. 

3. Validate your child’s fears 

If your child expresses feelings of fear or anxiety, take a moment to notice your own reactions. Many parent’s attempts to reassure their children often end up invalidating how they are feeling. Instead of telling your child “everything will be ok” try saying something like, “I can see why you are feeling this way.”

4. Let your child know who’s protecting them

Letting your child know that they are loved and that as a parent you won’t let anything happen to them adds a layer of protection. Another can be added by letting them know that doctors and scientists are working to keep them safe as well. 

For older children, letting them know that as a parent you are a shield of protection against the coronavirus may not be enough. Empower them by collaborating on a “family game plan”, which is yet another way of opening up a dialogue. By listening to their ideas, you can learn more about their fears and attend to them as needed.

5. Stay on schedule

Maintaining routines is an important part of helping children to feel safe. They feel safe within structure, and notice when schedules are changed or not followed. As time goes on, some of this may be outside of your control as a parent, with closures of schools and other public spaces being a real possibility. 

Should this happen, keep as many structures in place as possible, and help children to highlight what does remain the same: “We didn’t go to school today, but we still brushed our teeth when we woke up and will brush our teeth before we go to bed.” 

These changes in routine can also be framed as exciting rather than scary, with potentially more time to be spent with family, playing, watching tv, doing crafts, or reading. 

6. Talking to them about hygiene 

Even if your child is too young to know about germs, it’s never too soon to talk to them about hand-washing.  Framing hand-washing and other hygienic behaviors in the context of “virus-stopping powers” can help children to feel more empowered and secure. 

For younger children, this can be made into a game, by measuring how long they wash their hands through singing songs such as “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and “Happy Birthday”, or seeing who can wash their hands the longest. With children who know about germs, learning how to cough into their elbows and not touching their faces is just as important.  

In times like these, it can be easy to get caught up in our fears and worries. Remember, the best thing we can do as parents is take care of ourselves. Don’t forget to be gentle with yourself and your children.

Coronavirus: Managing Fears and Anxieties

Over the past weeks, coronavirus (COVID-19) has spread worldwide. With more outbreaks being reported each day and conflicting information getting shared around the clock, it can feel harder than usual to stay calm. 

With so much still unknown about the coronavirus, you may be feeling more fear and anxiety than normal. Feelings of fear and anxiety can feel unmanageable as they feed off of the unseeable and unknowable. 

Here are some ways to manage feelings of fear and anxiety brought on by the coronavirus:

1. Seek out reliable information

Anxiety is an emotion that wants to plan and protect. It feeds off of information, and when it’s fed information that is wrong,  it goes into a five-alarm alert, setting off fight-or-flight responses.

To help manage your anxiety, check for updates by reputable health organizations such as the Center for Disease Control (CDC) or the World Health Organization (WHO). 

2. Pay attention to how your feeling

Feelings of anxiety are normal and to be expected given the circumstances. Ignoring the anxiety will only make it grow louder in order to gain your attention. Paradoxically, only focusing on your anxiety can make things seem worse than they are.

Mindfulness can be a great tool to help you notice what you’re feeling, allow yourself to acknowledge the feeling without judgment, and continue on with what you were doing. 

3. Identify other factors that may be influencing your anxiety

While there are valid reasons to feel anxious, there may be more happening beneath the surface. Get curious about your anxiety, and consider what other aspects you are responding to, especially if you are aware of heightened sensitivities to germs, death from illnesses, or hospitals. 

4. Controlling what is controllable

There are plenty of things we have no control over. There are also a lot of things we do have control over. Consider engaging in habits  that you do have control over, such as: hand washing, disinfecting household or workspace surfaces, and traveling with hand sanitizer. 

5. Take a break from the news and social media

More information is not always what will help us feel safer. It can be easy to get pulled into echo-chambers of anxiety and fear when we’re constantly plugged in to the latest updates. Mindfulness can help us understand why we’re checking the news and how it serves us. 

6. Grounding activities

It can be easy to get caught up in our worries about what might happen. Grounding yourself in the present moment can be done wherever, whenever. You can mindfully take a walk, wash dishes, or cook dinner all by noticing what you see, feel, and hear right here, right now.

You can also try, the 5-4-3-2-1 technique works by noticing and taking in the details of your surroundings using each of your senses: 

What are 5 things you can see? 

What are 4 things you can touch? 

What are 3 things you can hear? 

What are 2 things you can smell? 

What is 1 thing you can taste? 

Part of a disease's impact is psychological in nature. As humans, we tend to respond to information emotionally. This can include feelings of anxiety, hyper-vigilance, catastrophizing, and helplessness. Mindfulness can be a helpful tool to help us notice our fear, acknowledge it without judgment, and respond proportionally.

Next time, we’ll talk about how to support your child during this global health crisis.  

Why Isn't Therapy Working?

We’ve all had the experience of wanting things to be different, taking steps to change (like starting therapy!), and feeling stuck. Even though we’re putting in the time and effort, we’re just not feeling better. Leaving us with the thought ‘Why isn’t therapy working?’ Last time, we talked about how you know when therapy is working. Today, we’ll explore some reasons why therapy may not be helping.

1. Your goals aren’t clear

Sometimes, we start therapy with a clear idea of what we would like to be different in our life. Other times, our therapist works with us to establish clear goals to guide our sessions. If you don’t know what you’re working on, it’s hard to feel like anything is getting accomplished. 

2. Your therapist isn’t the right fit

As we move through the therapeutic process, we begin to identify what we do and don’t like in therapy. Sometimes, the way our therapist does therapy isn’t what we need or want.  One way of thinking about it is that therapy is a medicine and individual therapists are the different types of medicine. Some therapists will be able to offer what you need and want, some won’t. 

3. You may not be ready

Change happens over time. It can be easy to judge where we are based on where we would like to be. It’s important to be patient with where you are at. Carl Rogers once said

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

4. You might need to see a medical doctor

The body impacts the mind and the mind impacts the body. When no matter what we do, we’re still not feeling better, it might be worth a check-up with our medical doctor to make sure everything is OK physically.  

5. You might be scared

Many people have the experience of becoming more aware once they start therapy. Sometimes, change can be scary. We might be feeling scared but unaware of our fear. This unconscious fear could be leading us to behaviors that are counterproductive to our therapeutic goals.  

Like, we talked about last time: People come to therapy for a lot of different reasons. Therapy may not be working for a variety of reasons that depend on why you started. This is by no means an extensive list, but it might serve as a helpful conversation starter with your therapist. 

How Do You Know if Therapy is Working?

People come to therapy for a lot of different reasons: depression, anxiety, relationship issues--the list goes on and on. With so many different reasons to seek support, how do you know when therapy is working? 

1.You’re trying something different

What’s that saying? 

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” --Albert Einstein

People usually start coming to therapy when something in their life isn’t working. It can be very easy to keep ourselves stuck in a rut, engaging in the same old ways of coping,  just hoping for things to be different. Starting therapy is usually the first step to trying something different. Over time, you might begin to notice that you’re reacting to old situations in new ways. 

2.You might start feeling a little bit worse

As weird as it may sound, you might begin to feel a little bit worse after starting therapy. Now, you’re probably asking yourself: why would I sign myself up for feeling worse? You’d be surprised how much of our time we spend on autopilot--completely unaware of how we’re feeling. A  part of working with a mindfulness-based therapist is learning how to become more aware of what you’re feeling. Chances are, you’re not necessarily feeling worse, you’re just more aware of how you’re feeling.

3. You’re talking more about your feelings

Some people come to therapy because they have difficulty talking about their feelings. Therapy is not only a great place to become more aware of how you’re feeling, but it is also a great place to practice putting your feelings into words. You may begin to notice that the more you vocalize how you’re feeling in therapy, the easier it becomes in other areas of your life. 

4. You’re more accepting of where you’re at

People come to therapy for a lot of different reasons. It can be very easy to put a lot of expectations on ourselves. Remember: change takes time. One way you might notice therapy is working is when you begin to accept where you are at instead of comparing yourself to an idea of where you should be.

5. You’re asking: how do I know therapy is working?

People often have the experience of becoming more self-reflective after starting therapy. It makes sense that you’d eventually want to re-evaluate how things are going with your therapist, what progress you’ve made, and clarify your goals for therapy. If you’re asking this question, chances are therapy is working.  

It’s important to highlight again: people come to therapy for a lot of different reasons. How to tell if therapy is working depends on why you started therapy. This is by no means an extensive list but might serve as a conversation starter in your next therapy session. 

Next time, we’ll talk about how to tell when therapy isn’t working.