The Group Podcast Ep. 28 "Women, Intersectionality, and Power In Group Leadership"

Podcast Preview: In this episode, Angelo talks with Yoon Kane and Annie Weiss who, along with Saralyn Masselink, edited and contributed chapters to “Women, Intersectionality, and Power in Group Psychotherapy Leadership” (2022, Routledge).

 Their conversation explores how this project sought to address the conspicuous void in professional literature on the complex challenges women group leaders face and how such dilemmas can be understood & skillfully addressed. Intersectionality is also discussed as an organizing principle in the book’s illuminating investigation. Finally, both Yoon’s chapter “Courage to Lead: The Shadow of Racism on Women of Color Leading Psychotherapy Groups” and Annie’s chapter “Training Elastigirl: Developing Strength and Flexibility in Female Group Psychotherapists” are talked about in depth. Check out this incredibly thought-provoking conversation today!
 

Contributors to
“Women, Intersectionality, and Power in Group Psychotherapy Leadership”
Alexandra (Sasha) Watkins
Alexis D. Abernethy
Ali Kimmell
Annie C. Weiss
Britt Raphling
Elizabeth (Libby) Shapiro and Rachel Ginzberg
Ellen L. Wright
Janice M. Morris
Jeanne Bunker
Julie Anderson
Kavita Avula
Madeline Victore Stein
Nina W. Brown
Saralyn M. Masselink
Shemika M. Brooks
Susan P. Gantt
Yesel Yoon
Yoon Im Kane

Embracing Mindfulness in Psychotherapy: Lessons from Nature and Beyond

Embracing Mindfulness in Psychotherapy: Lessons from Nature and Beyond

In the dynamic world of psychotherapy, clients often grapple with balancing the demands of daily life while seeking mental and emotional well-being. This journey sometimes feels like navigating through a dense forest; making progress may seem slow and arduous. But what if we could draw inspiration from the natural world to enhance our therapeutic journey?

Sea Turtles on Maui: A Symbol of Mindful Pacing

Consider the sea turtles on Maui, who are often seen taking a leisurely break on the shore every evening around sunset. I have a photo of this serene scene on my desktop, a gentle reminder of the value of patience and deliberation. In our fast-paced world, haste and impulsivity can impede good decision-making. The sea turtles, having evolved over millions of years, embody the wisdom of understanding one's limits and the importance of slowing down, a valuable lesson for psychotherapy clients.

Visualizing Mindfulness: A Socialization Exercise

This imagery can be transformed into a visual socialization exercise for clients in therapy. Imagine an activity where clients identify with dierent animal qualities, akin to the turtles, and use "rest stations" to pause and reect on their strategies, objectives, and concerns. The image of the sea turtle becomes a physical representation of the importance of patience and thoughtful pacing, illustrating how sometimes slowing down can enhance resilience and group dynamics.

Demystifying Mindfulness in Therapy

Many clients are curious about mindfulness and its role in therapy. Though often perceived as a buzzword, mindfulness is a powerful concept that can be integrated into everyday life.

It encompasses:

1. Awareness of the present moment, including body awareness (breath, emotions, and physical sensations).

2. Observance and acceptance of one's surroundings without judgment 3. compassionate, non-judgmental awareness of habitual thoughts

Incorporating Mindfulness into Therapy

Mindfulness practices in therapy can range from body scanning to breathing exercises. These techniques help clients become aware of their thoughts without being controlled by them, which is empowering for those dealing with common mental disorders like anxiety, depression, eating disorders, or substance abuse.

Loving-kindness Meditations, originating from Buddhism, are another mindfulness technique used in therapy. These meditations aim to cultivate unselsh, unconditional kindness and compassion towards oneself and others. Studies, including one by Fredrickson et al. (2008), have shown that these techniques can enhance daily positive emotions and overall mental health.

Mindful Therapy: A Tool for Both Client and Therapist

Mindfulness in therapy isn’t just benecial for clients; it's also a vital tool for therapists. Being grounded and fully present allows the therapist to empathize deeply with the client's experiences. This mindful presence fosters a therapeutic environment where the client and therapist can engage more eectively.

In conclusion, the journey of psychotherapy, much like the mindful pacing of the sea turtles, teaches us the value of slowing down, being present, and embracing each moment with patience and deliberateness. By incorporating mindfulness into therapy, clients can navigate their mental health journey with greater awareness, resilience, and peace of mind.

Reference List:

1. Fredrickson, B. L., Cohn, M. A., Coey, K. A., Pek, J., & Finkel, S. M. (2008). "Open hearts build lives: Positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources." *Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95*(5), 1045-1062. This study discusses the benets of loving-kindness meditation and its impact on positive emotions and mental health.

2. "Maui Sea Turtle Conservation." (2023). Maui Ocean Center. This source provides information on the behavior of sea turtles in Maui, which is used as an analogy in the blog.

Patient Resources Provided by Mindful Psychotherapy, a refuge for overburdened city dwellers.

Our mission is to provide a protected space of compassion, safety, and stability with the purpose of helping you lead a fuller, richer life. We oer individual, couple, family, and group psychotherapy. To inquire about our sliding scale services, please schedule a consultation. www.Mindful.nyc

Media Consumption and Our Mental Health.

News coverage, social media, and the endless notifications, emails, pings, etc. that we receive each day can significantly impact our mental health. The disproportionate representation of negative events is part of a cycle that is feeding our innate self-protective nature and thus contributing to our heightened level of stress and anxiety. Such a chronic state of hyper-vigilance may contribute to mental health issues, including anxiety and depression, as individuals grapple with the emotional toll of witnessing discrimination, injustice, and brutality. Families, especially children, are not immune to the effects of this collective trauma, which tends to hit minority communities the hardest as our negative bias, hyper-vigilance, and hard wiring will easily generalize the acts of an individual to an entire community or system—in essence, seeing any stick in our path as a snake. 

So what do we do with these complex feelings of fear, helplessness, frustration, and anger that impact our self-esteem and mental well-being? And how do we safely navigate our families through this collective trauma, which can have intergenerational effects?

1. Foster Open Communication: It is important to foster open communication in our families, with close attention to providing age-appropriate information. Consider a child’s ability for abstract reasoning, which fully develops between the ages of 11 and 17+, and how information and guidance must be more simple and concrete the younger they are. 

2. Encouragement: Parents should encourage questions, validate feelings, and express empathy without oversharing or implicitly expecting a child to care for their sadness, pain, or other difficult emotions. Remember to use curiosity and investigate to gauge your child’s understanding, ensuring you meet them at their level. 

3. Positivity: Keep things positive, and highlight efforts for peace and resolution. Discuss coping mechanisms and the role of family and community or other supports during these difficult and confusing times. Inspire agency and responsibility.

4. Diverse Perspectives and Responsible Use of Technology: Education is critical in combating stereotypes and prejudice. Take time to consider where you get your information, and do your best to minimize your own bias, which may be based on misinformation. Keep an open mind with a call to action fostering inclusivity and diversity.

5. Service and Kindness to Others: Foster a philosophy based on the search for humanity in others. We must grow our relationships based on attraction and not fear. Be of service, and continue to be curious (teach and learn) so that we find ways to move us all forward together.

References

Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma and the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01441

Simran Jeet Singh (2022). The Light We Give. Penguin.

Mindful.nyc in the Press

Originally published on January 31, 2022 by Ryan Castillo with Redfin Blog Updated on May 19th, 2022

Mindfulness Home Design 2022: Expert Tips to Inspire Mindfulness at Home

The original post can be found here.

We all strive to have a haven that brings us peace, security, and tranquility. However, amidst all the day-to-day tasks and responsibilities that pop up in our lives, oftentimes it can be hard to take a break, center ourselves, and focus on mindfulness. Having a dedicated space or bringing in items and decor that inspire mindfulness into our homes can serve as a reminder to take a breath and focus on what is going on around us. To help you get started, we reached out to mindfulness experts across Chicago, IL to Kelowna, BC to give us their best tips to inspire mindfulness at home. From emphasizing things that create heat to incorporating plants into your decor, keep reading to see what they had to say.

1) Choose quality items and decorations that make you happy

Don’t buy into short-term decor trends, instead choose what makes you happy, invest in quality items, and play with the idea of creating mini zones throughout your space such as a meditation, reading, or yoga corner, always ready for you to plug into. – Sabrina Weber of Femme Du Soleil

2) Identify a designated mindfulness space 

The first step to cultivating mindfulness at home is identifying a designated (and nonnegotiable) mindfulness space. Intentionally creating a special space for mindfulness will help you practice it more consistently, effectively, and comfortably. So, whether you’re designing an elaborate meditation loft, or just trying to make the corner of your bedroom a little more zen, it’s important to make that space sacred. – Loretta Turner, MA, CNP, Certified Mindfulness Coach

3) Emphasize things that create heat 

Heat is pleasant and regulating for our mind, body, and spirit, and brings us back into the present moment. Emphasize things in your home that bring you heat. For example, the bathtub, a fireplace, heated blankets, or a tea kettle. Bring more things into your home that can provide you warmth when you need it. – Kerry J Heckman, Therapist

4) Try sound healing 

Sound healing is an ancient healing art that is making a modern resurgence. Having Bluetooth speakers in each room of the home playing calming, peaceful, or joyful music can bring mindfulness to whatever you’re doing. – Empowered Meditation and Sound Healing

5) Try a diffuser, soft textures, and energizing plants 

Though our minds may wander throughout the day, our external space can serve as a reminder to mindfully reconnect with our internal space – a diffuser with your favorite scent, soft textures around you, energizing plants, and objects that remind you of our values. A space created with mindful intention has the power to bring us back to the here and now and to experience life more fully and peacefully. – Elizabeth Alli, Founder at DesignerUp

6) Incorporate natural elements into your home 

Be sure to add natural materials, plants, and water features to your designs, keep clutter to a minimum, and consider carving out a comfortable spot to create a relaxation retreat. There are even products that can help you see how your brain responds to different paint colors, scents, views, and decor as you plan your new, calming designs. – FocusCalm

7) Introduce mindful self-compassion into your space 

Turn your home into a sanctuary by introducing mindful self-compassion into your space. Add elements that soothe and comfort – faux fur blankets, a warm fire, comfy pillows, an essential oil diffuser, gentle music, warm lights, and soft colors. Place a hand over your heart as you listen to soft sounds, take in the healing scents, and sink into the comfort you’ve created. – The Counseling and Mindfulness Group

8) Try a sensory experience

Mindfulness is all about coming back home to the present moment and nothing does this better than connecting to your senses. To create more mindfulness in your space try and create a sensory experience by using textured pillows, unique fabrics, scented candles, patterned artwork, and anything that makes you feel connected to nature. – Katie Cheadle 

9) Incorporate house plants into your decor

Bringing a snippet of nature indoors by incorporating houseplants into your decor is a simple and easy way to create a mindfulness space. There are many options to complement your personal style. – Mindful Modern Living

10) Create mindful living by decluttering 

Clutter in the home can be distracting. My favorite way to create a mindful living space is to simplify it without limiting the colors, textures, or designs. – Alex G Shearer

11) Make sure your space reflects your personality 

Create a home that is true to who you are. Mindfulness begins by being in tune with things that speak to you. It’s easy to fall into design trends, so always make sure that it is true to who you are so that your space reflects your personality and in doing so, creates a peaceful retreat. – Emmygination

12) Incorporate natural surroundings to help you be present 

Creating a dedicated spot in your home for contemplation and meditation is a simple way to commit to daily mindfulness practice. Incorporating your natural surroundings can help you tune in and become fully present, for example, placing a chair in front of a sunny window. You can devote time to paying attention to the sensation of the sun on your face as a focal point for your meditation. – mindful.nyc

13) Declutter and organize your home

Clutter and disorganization can cause stress and anxiety. You may be able to improve your mood and mental clarity by simply removing things that no longer fit your home and making space for things that do. – Kady Brown Interiors 

14) Pay attention to the purpose of your spaces 

Mindful design is about paying attention, tuning into what each room within the home’s purpose is, and how it supports those living in the home. Mindful design is about creating a sense of balance within each room and the home as a whole. We can use elements like plants, natural lighting, scents, and colors to create the feeling, look, and vibe we each need to balance and thrive in life. – Nourished Home

15) Find a corner where you can set up items that make you calm 

As a business owner, movement instructor, and busy mom, creating space for a mindfulness practice has been key in keeping me balanced and grounded. To help set the tone for a mindful practice in your own home, find a corner where you can set up a few things that bring you a sense of calm such as a yoga mat, candles, and a journal. Even placing these items in a small basket in the corner of your bedroom will remind you to take 5, get down on the floor, and breathe. – Mindful Movement with Maggie

16) Create tech-free zones 

Allow your home to be as conducive as possible to living mindfully, create zones within your home that are completely tech-free, and give you the opportunity to “just be” rather than always doing. This could look like the kitchen bench or breakfast bar, so you enjoy present conversations with your family to start the day while making breakfast or your morning brew or a nook complete with a rocking chair facing a window or door with a view or a leafy outlook. Have a side table for your drink or journal, a plant to inspire mindfulness, books or mags within easy reach, a lamp, and even a cozy blanket. – Slow Coaching Co.

17) Use the three-step mindfulness practice – Pause, breathe, and notice

At each step of the decorating process, whether you are sitting down to begin planning your project or deep in the midst of making final color and layout choices, pause and breathe, feeling sensations in your body as you take three, slow, deeper breaths, then notice what decor choices feel truly pleasant and supportive to you. Try this practice to tune into your own natural, inner wisdom or home designer, to let go of ideas about how your space ‘should’ be, and discover how to create a space that supports the authentic life you dream of. – Julie Woodward, MSW

18) Keep mindfulness practices accessible

If it’s out of sight, it may very likely be out of mind. If you love to practice seated mindful movement, you might try keeping your dedicated chair where you can see it often, free of any clutter. If you work from home and struggle to make time for breaks, you might try keeping a mindful chime on your desk to remind you to take an informal 5-minute mindful moment. If you want to be more intentional in practicing compassion mindfulness, you might try keeping your mindfulness journal on your coffee table where you sit and drink your coffee in the morning. – Mindfulness First

19) Embrace indoor-outdoor living

For decompressing, we have a sauna and a steam shower, as well as a saltwater pool that we keep on the warmer side to float in for relaxation. I also think it’s important to embrace an indoor/outdoor connection not just with plants, but with a design element that feels like you’re bringing nature in. For example, we have a large accordion door that opens up to the backyard from our main living space and in our bathroom, we choose a tile that looks almost wood-like surrounding the bathtub that I like to soak in after a long day. – Mindfulness Matters 

20) Keep a pen and notepad close to you

Place a pretty jar or container with a notepad and pen in a central location in your home and take the time to jot down simple words and phrases that represent moments of gratitude or creativity, brilliant ideas, sincere emotion, and affirmations. Multiply these “mindful moments” by designating a time each week to reflect on the notes in your jar, recalling how you felt about each one at the moment you wrote it, and noticing how you feel about it now. Living mindfully often requires a willingness to slow down and capture these small, yet meaningful moments amid the busyness and to-do lists of every day, which in turn helps cultivate a sense of ease, accomplishment, happiness, and peace. – HomeGirl by Design

LEGAL: This article is for informational purposes only. Individual results may vary. Redfin is not affiliated with nor endorses or guarantees any of the individuals, resources or websites mentioned. 

Redfin does not provide medical advice. This article is not a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your health. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on Redfin’s blog.

Ryan Castillo

Ryan is part of the Content Marketing team and enjoys writing about market trends and local insights. His dream home would be a large cape cod-style house by the beach.

Email Ryan

34 Self-Care Tips to do Before Bedtime

Maintaining a steady routine of self-care is important for your mental and physical health, especially during these tough times. It all starts with getting plenty of sleep. If we don’t get our recommended 7-9 hours of rest each night, it might lead to problems such as increased stress, impaired cognitive thinking, poor attitudes, and the inability to focus. 

Creating a bedtime routine and sticking to it can go a long way in helping you get a good night’s sleep, namely because it will signal your body that it’s time to rest. Having a comfortable sleep environment and taking time to relax as you get ready for bed can set the stage for restorative sleep, and can result in you feeling alert, well-rested, and ready to take on the upcoming day. 

Of course, no one bedtime routine is the same as people have different needs and preferences. While some self-care tips apply to folks of any age, such as creating a comfortable sleep environment, each age group also has tips that address their specific sleep needs. 

• Children: Children need the most amount of sleep, between 9 and 16 hours depending on age. 

• Teenagers: Without adequate sleep, teens are at increased risk of mental health problems. 

• College students: As they transition from kids to adults, college students need a good night’s rest to maintain strong mental health. 

• Adults: Getting a good night’s sleep helps promote long-lasting good physical and mental health. 

• Parents: Self-care that includes relaxation tips and stress relievers goes a long way in helping parents get restorative sleep. 

34 Self Care Tips 

This guide will review important information for each of these age groups, and provide tips on how they can achieve healthy and restorative sleep.

Children 

• Talk about their emotions. To help promote healthy sleep, it’s important for children to express their thoughts and emotions. The Washburn Center for Children in Minneapolis recommends talking with your children about their feelings on a daily basis so they see it as a normal part of their day. Ask things like, “what has been a highlight of your day and why?” or “you seem down today, what has you feeling sad?” Really listen to what they have to say, and respond thoughtfully in a way that encourages them to keep talking. 

• Try children meditation apps. Apps can be a handy tool to help calm children as they prepare for bed. For instance, “Stop, Breathe & Think” offers mindful sleep stories and meditation activities to help ease the mind. “Smiling Mind” features meditation techniques to help children sleep better, while “Sleep Meditation for Kids” provides mediation stories to help children relax. 

• Go outside. It’s no secret kids have a lot of energy, so it’s important to allow them time to expend that energy before bedtime. Let them go outside and play in the afternoon, but limit exercise within four hours of bedtime, per Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. Otherwise, they could become over-stimulated when their bodies should be winding down. 

• Limit screen time. While electronic devices have become a normal part of most kids’ lives, they should not be a part of any child’s bedtime routine. In fact, according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, screens in the bedroom are accompanied by insufficient sleep that affects 30% of toddlers, preschoolers and school-age children. Therefore, eliminating screen time at least one hour before bedtime can help set the tone for a more restful night’s sleep. 

• Set expectations. Another way to help prepare kids for a good night’s sleep is by setting expectations for bedtime. Remind them of the evening schedule, such as finishing homework after dinner followed by a bath and story time before bed. 

• Prepare for tomorrow. Encourage children to prepare for the next day by picking out their clothes for school and packing their lunch. This will help them take ownership in their daily routine. 

Teenagers

• Encourage a routine. Like younger kids, teens need a routine to help them feel settled. For instance, they have to finish their homework before playing video games, or no more electronics past a certain time. 

• Limit caffeine. Many teenagers start drinking more caffeinated beverages, such as coffee and energy drinks, which can be overstimulating for them. As such, their daily caffeine intake should be limited to one cup of coffee, one or two cups of tea, and no more than three cans of soda, per the American Academy of Pediatrics. They should not have any caffeine within an hour of bedtime. 

• Relax somewhere other than your bed. While it’s tempting to text your friends or watch TV as you lounge in your bed, this should be avoided. You want your body to recognize when it’s time to sleep, and climbing into bed should be a signal that sleep is on the way. Therefore, keep your bed as a “sleep only” spot. 

• Take a hot shower or bath. Many teens jump in the shower first thing in the morning, but research from the Cockrell School of Engineering at The University of Texas at Austin found that taking a warm bath or shower one to two hours before bedtime can significantly improve sleep. Water should be between 104 and 109 degrees Fahrenheit for the best results.

• Get regular exercise. Just as kids need exercise to expend energy and maintain good health, so do teenagers. Getting in the habit of exercising at a younger age can help ensure teens maintain this healthy routine, which will lead to better sleep. 

• Talk to them. The teen years can be extremely stressful as kids transition through young adulthood, experiencing a new range of emotions and situations. Encourage them to voice their feelings and their stressors so they won’t stay up all night thinking about them. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry recommends teaching them assertiveness training skills so they can state their feelings in polite, firm and not overly aggressive or passive ways.  

College students

• Maintain open communication. College can be a huge transitional period for young adults, so it’s important to keep the lines of communication open. Build on the talks you have had with your parents through the years, and tell them how you are feeling. Remember that discussing your feelings go a long way in helping you sleep well. 

• Create a care package for sleep. Put together a sleep kit with your favorite sleep mask, earplugs, aromatherapy scents, white noise machine or soothing music. Dig into this kit anytime you need to reset your body for a good night’s sleep. 

• Use “do not disturb” mode. Young people today are more plugged in than ever, and it’s important to unplug at least an hour before bedtime each night. Turn your phone on “do not disturb” so you can tune out your friends’ text messages or late-night notifications from your apps. 

• Set up a spa night. Stress plays a key role in disturbing your sleep, so it’s important to de-stress often. Take time to unwind with your friends by indulging in a little pampering, like applying face masks or giving one another pedicures. These are a great way to wind down and reset your body’s stress levels. 

• Plan your day. Planning out your next day’s schedule during times of busyness or stress can help you feel in control of what you need to do. Amherst College suggests planning out your day by writing down what you have to do with deadlines so you have a handle on what needs to be accomplished when. 

• Try journaling. Writing down your feelings goes a long way in helping you process and sort through what you are experiencing. For instance, writing out a frustrating situation or something you’re stressed about and then destroying that piece of paper can help you let go of the negativity you feel about it. 

Adults

• Set aside time for a bedtime routine. It’s easy to feel too busy for a bedtime routine, and, instead, just fall into bed when you’re exhausted. However, bedtime routines are essential for good sleep, so, if necessary, build it into your schedule. Don’t be afraid to set a reminder of when to start your bedtime routine, so your body will know it’s time to start winding down. 

• Substitute your nighttime wine for tea. Although wine could help you feel sleepy, it may actually disrupt a good night’s sleep. Trade it out for a caffeine-free tea that promotes sleep. A few good choices include: 

• Chamomile

• Lavender

• Lemon balm

• Yogi Bedtime Tea 

• Practice good skin care. While removing your makeup and applying moisturizer is a great way to maintain healthy skin, it also can help your body relax as part of your bedtime routine. It’s one more signal to your body that rest is on the way. 

• Meditate. Meditating before bedtime helps you achieve a sense of inner calm that can lead to more restful sleep. It also can help reduce cortisol, the hormone associated with stress. To help you implement meditation in your bedtime routine, you can try a meditation app such as:

• Calm

• Buddhify

• 10% Happier 

• Simple Habit 

• Read a book. It’s often said you can get lost in a good book. By doing so, you escape the stress of everyday life. In fact, according to the University of Minnesota, reading can relax your body by lowering your heart rate and easing the tension in your muscles. Per a 2009 University of Sussex study, reading also can reduce stress by up to 68% and works faster than drinking hot tea or listening to music. 

• Set goals. Listing your goals for the next day, whether personal or work, sets the stage for a productive day. Write out at least three goals, but make sure they are realistic so you aren’t stressed about getting them done. 

• Get out of the house. When you’ve been home for long periods of time, the stress can accumulate and start to feel overwhelming. Therefore, it’s important to get out of the house and enjoy a change of scenery before you start your bedtime routine. Take a walk around the block, spend a few minutes in the backyard swing or play with the dog. 

Parents 

Raising kids can take a toll on parents if they don’t make time for themselves. Include one or more of these self-care tips in your bedtime routine to promote better sleep. 

• Try aromatherapy. The essential oils used in aromatherapy have been shown to help reduce anxiety and promote calm. Using sleep masks and pillows infused with scents such as lavender, chamomile or jasmine can help you relax, per the Mayo Clinic. 

• Write down wins and struggles. Expressing your achievements and difficulties in writing helps you sort through and process your thoughts and emotions, which can reduce stress. 

• Shower in low lighting. Taking a warm shower before bed can promote relaxation throughout your body. Turning the lights down can further aid this relaxation. 

• Indulge in adult coloring books or puzzles. According to the Cleveland Clinic, spending time coloring relaxes the brain, diverts attention from your worries and increases pleasure, all of which reduce stress. Focusing on an adult puzzle can also help clear the mind. 

• Get intimate (singles and couples). A healthy sex life promotes good health from lower blood pressure to decreased anxiety to, yes, better sleep. Even individuals can benefit from self-intimacy. 

• Enjoy a massage (self massage or couples). Massages have been shown to reduce fatigue and improve sleep because it relaxes the muscles and calms the brain. It also improves blood flow, reduces stress and boosts serotonin, which promotes sleep. 

• Listen to audio therapy. Although loud noises like listening to the TV are not conducive to a good night’s sleep, listening to soothing music or a white noise machine can relax your mind and promote sleepiness. Incorporate this technique into your bedtime routine by turning on the music or white noise 30 to 45 minutes before you want to fall asleep. 

• Look at old photo albums of good memories. To reduce anxiety and refocus your mind, take a stroll down memory lane by looking at photos of favorite vacations, special occasions and fun moments throughout the years. The emotions of these memories will boost your body’s dopamine production, which makes you feel good and more relaxed. 

• Journal with your spouse. Just as writing down your own thoughts and feelings can help you process your emotions, journaling with your spouse can help you work through problems together, reaffirm your love for one another, and lead to deeper intimacy. These processes can reduce stress and improve your sleep. 

• Incorporating self-care into your bedtime routine will go a long way in improving your sleep as well as your overall health. In our busy world, that can be difficult, so it’s imperative that you make time for a consistent bedtime routine every day. 

The original post of this article can be found at Slumber Yard

To Date or Not to Date?

I recently wrote a piece for Psychology Today on dating during COVID-19. I provided four questions to ask yourself to figure out your boundaries around dating during a global pandemic—starting with the question of whether or not you should be dating at all. 

While many outlets are trying to untangle guidelines around safely getting to know new people—from video dates to socially distanced meetings—it’s important to start with this question. Dating during a pandemic can raise the stakes and make dating feel more intense. Just one reason is that many new partners are becoming monogamous immediately to lower risks of transmission. Some people may like the new focus and clarity. Simultaneously, negative outcomes like ghosting can feel more hurtful when we’re spending most of our time at home near our phones, unable to seek as much in-person support or distraction as we normally would. 

Whether or not you decide to date, it’s important to focus on grounding yourself and taking care of yourself on a daily basis. Grounding may look like meditation, yoga, journaling, or speaking with friends who make you feel supported and confident. Taking care of yourself means both focusing on physical care (getting enough sleep, exercising, eating healthily), and finding pleasure in whatever forms work for you (taking nature walks, watching horror movies, making art). With self-care as your primary goal, you’ll be more likely to handle whatever emotions come your way in dating or not-dating.

Image Source: Glen Anthony on Unsplash

The Value in Naming the Pandemic as a Global Trauma

Are you feeling tired yet restless? Having difficulty paying attention but, at the same time, hyper-focused? Maybe you're finding yourself distracted from work but consumed by social media--endlessly scrolling through your various news feeds. Or, perhaps you're having trouble sitting still. You may find yourself beginning a task only to interrupt yourself a few minutes later--realizing you have to take out the trash, do the dishes, or pay the cable bill.

If this sounds like you, you may be struggling with a trauma response known as hyper-vigilance: a state of alertness and sensitivity to your surroundings.

For many of us, quarantine, coupled with recent political events, has left us with feelings of fear, uncertainty, and anger. People usually assume that for something to be traumatic, it needs to be an event that was "objectively" horrific. But, the thing is that there all types of different types of traumas--because trauma is an event that is relative to the individual. Meaning, it's a composite experience of the event, your perception of the event, and how your body responds. Something traumatic for one person may not be traumatic for another. For many of us, COVID-19 and it's subsequent safety precautions have been stressful and prolonged. Limiting our reliance on our typical coping strategies (hanging out with friends, going for walks, etc.) and depleting the coping methods we've been using (anyone else tired of ZOOM hangouts?).

Many in the field of mental health are recognizing that the pandemic is a global trauma.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself: it doesn't matter if we're in a "global trauma" I still have work to do and a life to live--what's the value in naming it a trauma?

Dr. Spiegel is most known for his integration of Eastern practices with western neuroscience, and he answers that wonderfully-- You've got to name it to tame it!

Now, that's not to say you're going to "tame the pandemic." But you may be able to understand your emotional and physical reactions to the pandemic by acknowledging it as a type of trauma.

Hear me out, for centuries, Eastern civilizations have practiced meditation a mind-body practice that promotes mindfulness (for more on this check out my previous post on Mindfulness, Psychotherapy & Your Brain). There are many different ways to meditate formally, but usually, most people start by learning how to slow down their thoughts and focus on their breath. When their mind begins to wander, as the mind often does, they are instructed to focus back on their breath. Over time, people become more aware, more quickly, when their mind begins to wander, and it becomes easier to focus on their breath, which subsequently helps relax their body.

For many of us, it is harder to focus on our breath when we're having a hard time emotionally. One of the ways we can re-focus our attention is by acknowledging we're having a hard time. That is, notice our mind is wandering and without judgment, label what we're experiencing.

As an example, while meditating, I often get distracted by thoughts about what I need to get done before the end of the day. For me, these thoughts are usually due to feeling anxious. When I notice that I'm getting caught up in thoughts about the future, I will often label my experience by thinking to myself, "I'm having a lot of thoughts about what needs to get done." Or, I'll notice, "I'm feeling anxious about all that needs to get done." Then, I will re-focus my attention on my breath. It takes a few rounds of noticing my thoughts and feelings, settling back on my breath before I begin to feel something different.

When we recognize that the pandemic is a type of trauma affecting all of us, it allows us to better understand our emotional and physical reactions. There's a lot of hype right now in using quarantine as a time for self-improvement. But many of us are just trying to get by and get through. When we recognize that our difficulties may be due to abnormal circumstances, like a global trauma, it can be easier to be kinder to ourselves (and others!).

Next time, we'll talk about the importance of self-compassion during a pandemic.

5 Ways to Stave Off the Quarantine Blues

Shelter in Place has left many of us cooped up at home for the past many months. You may be struggling with feelings of fear, sadness, and anxiety--all of which are valid. These are strange times that hold a lot of uncertainties and unknowns. The reality is, there’s no right or wrong way to feel. But many of us still have work to do, relationships to nurture, and lives to live! 

If your feelings are getting the best of you, keeping you from doing the things you want or need to be doing, it might be time to reach out for some extra support (like seeing a psychotherapist!).

However, at Mindful NYC, we recognize that these uncertain times have left many of us with some financial anxieties. While we do offer sliding scale services, we also pride ourselves in providing resources through blog posts and social media to the larger-Manhattan community. 

So! Here are a few of our favorite ways to keep the quarantine blues away:  

1.Make your bed

New York apartments aren’t known for their square-footage, you might be surprised what a difference a made bed can make to your day. Making your bed every day can serve as a ritual, or cue, to let you know the day has started. While also acting as a micro-cleaning practice to help you keep your space clear and clutter-free! 

2. Take a shower 

When you’re not leaving the house for anything (except maybe to get groceries), it can be easy to let your hygiene slip. Take the time each morning (or night!) to shower, paying attention to your showering experience. Take note of how the water feels on your skin, use your favorite soaps and conditioners, savoring their scent--really allow yourself to be in the moment while you pamper yourself!

3. (safely) Get moving!

Movement has so many benefits, it can lift your mood, enhance learning, promote creativity, and decrease stress! Safely going for a walk, riding a bike, or doing some stretching on your balcony or in the park can make a BIG difference in your day--allowing you to take a break, change up the scenery, and get those feel-good neurochemicals going. 

4. Cut yourself a break

It’s really important to remember that these are unprecedented times. We’re in the middle of a global trauma. There’s a lot of hype in the world right now about using quarantine as a time to learn a new skill! Get fit! Actualize your best self! Blah, blah, blah. Your value is not based on how much you can do. You deserve a rest, no matter how much or how little you’re doing right now. It’s ok to take a break and honor your limits. 

5. Pay attention to your body

The pandemic is causing us all a lot of stress (individually and globally). Stress is a physical process in our bodies that raises our blood pressure, heart rate, and respiration rate--along with a host of other physiological reactions known as the stress response. When our stress response is sustained for too long like during a pandemic, our bodies become strained. We may find ourselves feeling depressed and anxious. Paying attention to what is happening in our body can be the first step to experiencing some emotional relief. 

BONUS: Anything that helps us relax physically can help us feel better emotionally. Some ways to relax physically might be: taking a hot bath or shower, getting some movement, putting on a weighted blanket, taking a few deep, slow breaths, meditating, practicing some yoga, or drinking a hot cup of tea. 

This is by no means a comprehensive list of ways to stave off of the quarantine blues. Still, we hope it gives you some idea of ways you might incorporate small, but impactful acts of care into your day-to-day routine. 

Guiding Your Child Through the Coronavirus

Children always see, hear, and pick up on more than parents think. It’s likely that they have noticed people out in public with protective masks, heard pieces of adult conversations, or have talked about it with friends. 

Children are not immune to feelings of fear, worry, or anxiety. Here are 6 ways to guide your child through the outbreak: 

1. Take care of yourself 

In order to help your child regulate their emotions and anxieties, as parents, you have to manage your own first. Your child is likely very aware of your emotional state and will be able to pick up on your feelings of fear and worry. 

Before talking to them, take some time to notice your own feelings and do what you need to do to take care of yourself.  You can check out my last blog post [link to above article] to learn more about how to manage feelings of anxiety.

2. Provide age-appropriate information

There is a wealth of misinformation on the coronavirus. It’s important to be a reliable source for your child(ren), while also filtering out unnecessary details and delivering only what’s pertinent for their age. 

Generally speaking, it’s helpful to frame the coronavirus within a context that is already known to them, such as having a cold or the flu. 

3. Validate your child’s fears 

If your child expresses feelings of fear or anxiety, take a moment to notice your own reactions. Many parent’s attempts to reassure their children often end up invalidating how they are feeling. Instead of telling your child “everything will be ok” try saying something like, “I can see why you are feeling this way.”

4. Let your child know who’s protecting them

Letting your child know that they are loved and that as a parent you won’t let anything happen to them adds a layer of protection. Another can be added by letting them know that doctors and scientists are working to keep them safe as well. 

For older children, letting them know that as a parent you are a shield of protection against the coronavirus may not be enough. Empower them by collaborating on a “family game plan”, which is yet another way of opening up a dialogue. By listening to their ideas, you can learn more about their fears and attend to them as needed.

5. Stay on schedule

Maintaining routines is an important part of helping children to feel safe. They feel safe within structure, and notice when schedules are changed or not followed. As time goes on, some of this may be outside of your control as a parent, with closures of schools and other public spaces being a real possibility. 

Should this happen, keep as many structures in place as possible, and help children to highlight what does remain the same: “We didn’t go to school today, but we still brushed our teeth when we woke up and will brush our teeth before we go to bed.” 

These changes in routine can also be framed as exciting rather than scary, with potentially more time to be spent with family, playing, watching tv, doing crafts, or reading. 

6. Talking to them about hygiene 

Even if your child is too young to know about germs, it’s never too soon to talk to them about hand-washing.  Framing hand-washing and other hygienic behaviors in the context of “virus-stopping powers” can help children to feel more empowered and secure. 

For younger children, this can be made into a game, by measuring how long they wash their hands through singing songs such as “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and “Happy Birthday”, or seeing who can wash their hands the longest. With children who know about germs, learning how to cough into their elbows and not touching their faces is just as important.  

In times like these, it can be easy to get caught up in our fears and worries. Remember, the best thing we can do as parents is take care of ourselves. Don’t forget to be gentle with yourself and your children.

Coronavirus: Managing Fears and Anxieties

Over the past weeks, coronavirus (COVID-19) has spread worldwide. With more outbreaks being reported each day and conflicting information getting shared around the clock, it can feel harder than usual to stay calm. 

With so much still unknown about the coronavirus, you may be feeling more fear and anxiety than normal. Feelings of fear and anxiety can feel unmanageable as they feed off of the unseeable and unknowable. 

Here are some ways to manage feelings of fear and anxiety brought on by the coronavirus:

1. Seek out reliable information

Anxiety is an emotion that wants to plan and protect. It feeds off of information, and when it’s fed information that is wrong,  it goes into a five-alarm alert, setting off fight-or-flight responses.

To help manage your anxiety, check for updates by reputable health organizations such as the Center for Disease Control (CDC) or the World Health Organization (WHO). 

2. Pay attention to how your feeling

Feelings of anxiety are normal and to be expected given the circumstances. Ignoring the anxiety will only make it grow louder in order to gain your attention. Paradoxically, only focusing on your anxiety can make things seem worse than they are.

Mindfulness can be a great tool to help you notice what you’re feeling, allow yourself to acknowledge the feeling without judgment, and continue on with what you were doing. 

3. Identify other factors that may be influencing your anxiety

While there are valid reasons to feel anxious, there may be more happening beneath the surface. Get curious about your anxiety, and consider what other aspects you are responding to, especially if you are aware of heightened sensitivities to germs, death from illnesses, or hospitals. 

4. Controlling what is controllable

There are plenty of things we have no control over. There are also a lot of things we do have control over. Consider engaging in habits  that you do have control over, such as: hand washing, disinfecting household or workspace surfaces, and traveling with hand sanitizer. 

5. Take a break from the news and social media

More information is not always what will help us feel safer. It can be easy to get pulled into echo-chambers of anxiety and fear when we’re constantly plugged in to the latest updates. Mindfulness can help us understand why we’re checking the news and how it serves us. 

6. Grounding activities

It can be easy to get caught up in our worries about what might happen. Grounding yourself in the present moment can be done wherever, whenever. You can mindfully take a walk, wash dishes, or cook dinner all by noticing what you see, feel, and hear right here, right now.

You can also try, the 5-4-3-2-1 technique works by noticing and taking in the details of your surroundings using each of your senses: 

What are 5 things you can see? 

What are 4 things you can touch? 

What are 3 things you can hear? 

What are 2 things you can smell? 

What is 1 thing you can taste? 

Part of a disease's impact is psychological in nature. As humans, we tend to respond to information emotionally. This can include feelings of anxiety, hyper-vigilance, catastrophizing, and helplessness. Mindfulness can be a helpful tool to help us notice our fear, acknowledge it without judgment, and respond proportionally.

Next time, we’ll talk about how to support your child during this global health crisis.